Thursday, July 25, 2013

Salt N Pepa's Heeeaaaaaa


Forrest Gump once said, "Bubba was my best good friend. And even I know that ain't somethin' you can find just around the corner."  Please, excuse me while I grab some tissues ... Although this quote comes from a fictional character with a low IQ, it makes me respect the quote that much more.  It's true.  A best good friend isn't someone you come across everyday.  Like soul-mates, they come into your life and no matter what, they will be around forever.  I met my best good friend, when I was 10 years old, in a 5th grade class ... The birth of a beautiful friendship.  Pepa and I have been friends for over 20 years and in that time, we've been through everything together and have only come across a handful of downs.  Besides family, I can't think of anyone else I've known longer. 


BOOM!  Haters gonna hate


It wasn't too long ago that Pepa brought to my attention, the fact that as a best friend I had been slacking.  On the road to finding myself and my happiness, I started to turn my back on my friends, Pepa included.  It was not something intentional on my behalf, but I was lost for a while and I just needed a little bit of time to regroup.  You know, with every blog I write, I feel like I was really crazy at one point ... My God, no wonder I'm still single  ... And so, after some built-up tension, and a 3-day argument it was agreed that Salt-N-Pepa needed an official "girls night out".


The night began like any other night.  I picked up my foxy little friend and off we went in the Jetta and straight into the beautiful City that never sleeps.  First stop: The Stand (thank you Groupon for the show and drink tickets).  I made sure we arrived EARLY so that the hostess could sit us at the very front, because there is nothing better than attending a comedy show and getting picked on by comedians.  The comedic acts were great, the drinks were even better and for the rest of the show, every comedian referred to us as the hot, slutty, lesbian Latinas!!!  That's right y'all, they said WE WERE HOT, SLUTTY, LESBIAN LATINAS!!!  Who am I to complain?  I haven't received a compliment that awesome in months - shit, I'll take what I can get.

With the comedy show at an end and a bit tipsy at this point, we decided that maybe it would be best to call it a night ... that is, until we were on our way home and drove past our favorite little place, which just so happened to have a parking spot RIGHT IN FRONT, which then led to Pepa shouting at me, "BITCH, you betta park this car!!!!!"  Now, if that is not Jesus giving us the green light to party, then I don't know what is ... sometimes, you just have to learn to recognize the signs people.  As we, gracefully, walked our way up to the bar, guess who was working the door???  Yes, that's right, another gift from Jesus: THE BOUNCER I had met from the horrible date I had with JB: the thigh molester!!!  This night was just getting better and better ... but with the good, comes the bad and the rest of the night was spend with Pepa running away from a 22 year old, Justin Bieber looking Marine, me dancing with a random drunk guy and at times flirting with and helping the Bouncer check for fake ID's and at one point, Pepa and I constantly looking over our backs for the Russians that kept inviting us back to their hotel room for a ... "party".  Um, some would refer to that as a gandbang or possible kidnapping.  I've seen Taken Part I and II - I can recognize danger.


Random Drunk Guy ... He was awesome

Our night turned out to be unexpected and fucking amazing as do most of our outings together ... and what better way to end an amazing successful night than in a dimly lit parking lot of Taco Bell, inhaling 3 mexi-melts after some quality drinking, which is detrimental to all the hard work I've been putting into the weight-loss competition I joined, but really?  When it comes to mending a once-in-a-lifetime friendship, there is no taco nor beer that can ever come between that!!!



I have many great friends,  I love them all and I wouldn't trade them for anything - but like my Pepa there is no other ... I don't know how to explain it, there is just an unspoken bond that's there.  Even though there are people that will read that last statement and think I'm a weirdo, the truth is I feel sorry for you, because I can only guess that you haven't found your best good friend - and no, she is not someone that you can just find around the corner; she is someone that you will find in your 5th grade class.

Ahhhhhh Push It ... Push it real good!!!

OH! and P.S.  THE BOUNCER!?!?  (insert a kool-aide smile and a big thumbs up in here)

The Struggle Continues ...