Tuesday, October 29, 2013

... and This is Why You Can Suck It

I’ve had no choice but to accept that I am in my early thirties, that I AM single and that I will probably be single for a little while longer.  Love?  Romance?  A relationship?  These things are just not in the cards for me right now.  Do I get sad about that? Sometimes – I mean I am, after all, a girl with a vagina and feelings and like once a month I sit at home … on a Saturday night … in my ex’s over-sized pajama pants … watching The Notebook and eating a bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups and washing them down with a bottle of Riesling.  That IS normal, right?  Again, I have learned to accept and become OK with this ...
What I am not OK with is THIS:
Miserable Mary's: Listen up y’all; STOP ruining it for people like me!!!  While I understand that being married is a tough job and it requires A LOT of love, work and patience, I still can’t wait to get married!  And maybe 20 years from now I will not agree with my previous statement, but the truth is I want to experience that life, too, so please stop telling me that marriage sucks!  Just because you are miserable in your current situation and you chose to settle, does not mean that I will be traveling down the same path as you.  Maybe the fact that I haven’t gotten married yet is a good thing!  Maybe because I’m going to get married later in life, my chances of divorce will significantly plummet.  Don’t try and make me miserable with you – take up a fucking hobby and go be miserable by yourself.  I have my own issues to worry about and I don't have time for yours.

Negative Nancy’s: OK ... I will admit that I am guilty of guy bashing.  Unfortunately, that little bitch called life has thrown some real winners my way, which at one point had me disgusted with guys and made me even question if I was better off as a lesbian.  Although there are certain guys that I still want to hit with my car and then go into reverse again … just to make sure - the truth is, I love guys!  I am boy crazy and I love going out and meeting a new potential friend? Fuck buddy? Activity partner? Future whatever?  What I have learned is that men AND women alike, are only as good as the person they are seeking.  Not all guys are assholes, sometimes they just engage in asshole behavior.  "Sometimes, you attract the lifestyle you live", I read that quote once and I couldn't agree with it more.  Perhaps, the guys I’ve been meeting are not “bad” guys; they just haven’t been good for me.  For the right girl, these “assholes” will be the knight in shining armor that they’ve been waiting for their entire lives.  Maybe people meet under false pretenses and a potential relationship is just doomed from the start.  Perhaps, we get confused and start looking for the wrong things (that we THINK we want) in people OR maybe we are looking for the RIGHT things in the WRONG people.  Regardless of the situation, it is not right to dog someone out or judge them.  Life happens; shit happens – let it go and move on.  Besides, us girls aren’t perfect either – I’m sure there are a few guys out there that want to stab us in the eye with a spoon (yes, a spoon - I assume it would hurt more).

The Saviors: Alllllllriiiiight folks, I don't even know where to begin with this ... These are the people that feel sorry for you and look at you like you're a helpless puppy that is about to be Euthanized and so they feel the need to save you from being single by setting you up with the person that is not right for you in any way, shape or form.  Although I do thank you for "looking out", the truth is I don't wish to be saved.  First things first, stop asking me, "Why are you single?”  I don't know why I'm single - Why are you an annoying dick?  These are just questions that we may never have the answers to ... aaaaand just to TRY and answer your question, maybe I'm single because I don't want to get hurt again; maybe I'm single because I haven't met that ONE person whose shit I want to deal with for the rest of my life; maybe I'm single because I haven't met anyone that can handle my kind of crazy or perhaps ... and hold on to your panties for this one ... perhaps, I'm single because it can be pretty awesome and I just choose to be!  There is nothing wrong with being single, stop looking at me like I have an incurable disease.  Sure, at times, I might get lonely and I might feel like the 3rd wheel when I'm with my coupled/married friends, but a relationship doesn't necessarily eliminate the feeling of loneliness; being happy and complete with oneself does that.  BOOM!

      I want you all to know that just because I have not met my other half, it does not mean that I am not happy and living life.  I have my moments, but who doesn't?  I have been waiting for a loooooooooooong time to meet my future husband; my patience is starting to wear thin - but I will keep on waiting!  I imagine him being the cop that pulls me over for speeding or perhaps the mail courier guy that delivers packages (not his package, of course) to my office or maybe the guy that is at the Laundromat on a Sunday night ... haha just kidding - I don't do laundry, I drop that shit off!  Either way, don't you worry, I'll be just fine ... and this is why you can suck it!