Monday, October 27, 2014

Bathroom Love ...

Dear Kiko:

We met by chance in a winsome little bar in Williamsburg on Saturday night.  I was out with family for the night with no expectations of meeting ANYONE, so little that I had on my "I don't give a fuck I'm just going out for a beer or 4" outfit.

... and then, I had to pee.

As I walked down the stairs into a creepy dim-lit narrow hallway, there you were - standing - up against the wall. and all I could see was your back ... quite a handsome back if I do say so myself.

I stood in line behind you patiently waiting my turn, but I had to pee soooooooooo bad.  So, I gracefully tapped you on the shoulder and asked if each stall was for, "guys and girls or are these gender neutral".  To which you replied, "I'm sorry doll, it's for both".  Doll.  DOLL.  *swoons* ... and then you introduced yourself and stuck out your hand out to shake mine - like a true gentleman.  Now, normally, because of all this Ebola hoopla and because we were on line of a not-so-clean bathroom, I wouldn't have touched you, but you were so you and you spoke to my soul when you said how much you loved wine and the vineyards, I just couldn't resist the urge to take your hand in mine.

SIDE NOTE to my readers:  He washed his hands and even dried them properly with 2 paper towels and disposed of said paper towels in the appropriate receptacle and not on the floor.

You asked for my number and I left the bar shortly thereafter.

You haven't yet called.

Kiko, did I offend you in any way by the bathroom?  I'm sorry I stared at you while you engaged in your act of cleanliness.  Did I look too sweaty?  It was just so hot in that damn bar - I mean who puts on heat this time of year!?! It hasn't even reached the mid-40's yet!  We were so inappropriately close to each other on that line, was my breath smelling too hoppy!?!?  I usually have gum on me (I'm always so conscious about these things), but what can you really fit into a wristlet?

Maybe I'll hear from you, but if I never do ... I hope you continue to chase your dreams with your sexy 'stache and a wine glass in your clean, urine free hands.

Until next time ...

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