If circa 1995 you were to ask me how I envisioned my life, I would say that I was 150% positive that by now I would be some rich man’s trophy wife (minus the trophy part, because I’m not super model hot … I’m like fat and really pretty), probably working on my third or fourth child, driving around in a fancy SUV because ewww, mini van’s – and going to yoga class, because hello!? That’s what rich trophy wives do!
… Let’s fast forward to 2015: I am not rich; I am far from any type of trophy anything; I’m still debating if I even want children; I drive a 2012 Civic coupe and I work a regular 9-5p.
No rich men ever chased me – thanks for the false hope Julia Roberts. No. Wait. I’m not a prostitute either.
When I turned 30, I had to reevaluate my life and priorities. I NOW like to think of myself as belonging to that new generation of women that have somehow submerged from the depths of some angelic hell over the last couple years – you know who they are; you see them everywhere: the selfish, sexually free 30 something year olds; the ones that still party and wander around with a bottle of wine or tequila, in their hands. They are independent and career minded and have zero tolerance for bulls#!%. I like this life better.
Which brings me to my next point: Career or Family?
Everyone around me is getting engaged, married and/or having kids - except ME. I'll go crazy if I start thinking about it. So, I stopped focusing on everyone around me and stopped caring about what everyone felt I should do with my life. Here’s my metaphor: I’ve walked down that road, hit some bumps along the way. I’ve fallen, dusted myself off and gotten back up and now? I’ve arrived at the fork in the road and I choose career.
Don’t be fooled by my words - I’m a hopeless romantic and deep, deep, deep, deep like really deep down inside I want to get married and maybe have a kid or two. But not right now. I gave that thing called romance a try and failed so hard. Some may say, “why not have both!?” While this is true and very attainable - love/relationships/marriage/kids are just not in the cards for me right now. I actually can’t help but cringe at the thought.
The world has given me the opportunity to start over in a new career and to travel – my “freedom” has allowed for me to pursue my long time dream - a new venture; a semi-new life! I encourage all women to do this. I wish I would have done this ten years ago, but I was too busy chasing love instead and partying my life away. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that, but I am not the same person I was ten years ago.
I want women to know that it is ok to be that girl: The one that chases her dreams and gets lost in them before finding the better version of herself; the one that doesn’t conform to society's ideologies; the one that dances along to the beat of her own drum. Don’t listen to everyone else. Don't feel like you failed because you aren't where everyone else is or expects you to or says you should be. Take a moment and think about your true desires. Right now, mine don’t involve a husband or children. I stopped chasing love and I chose to love me instead. and guess what!? My life is slowly, FINALLY, falling into place.
I’ve always heard that love happens when you stop looking for it. I do believe that … and I see you, Love. I see what you are trying to do … thank you for not leaving my side. But for now, I have to say: Love, I’ll see you as soon as I get back from pursuing my dreams.