5 Things I've Learned From My Lingerer ...

One day, while chatting away with ma' ladies, Spinda and Pepa (for the record, those aren’t their real names.  I’ve changed their names for their protection, because I’m considerate like that), Pepa gets messaged by not one, but TWO Lingerers!!!  Picture if you will, a sort of surprise gang-bang (Not that I’m familiar.  I’m just assuming that that is how Pepa felt.  I’m almost positive that’s what it would feel like).  Anyway, what is a Lingerer, you ask?  Well, a lingerer is usually a wierdo that can't take a hint and refuses to go away.  It really doesn’t matter how much you ignore him, there is just no stopping someone with that much determination.  He will often times throw you a curve ball and disappear for days or even weeks at a time, but just when you think he’s forgotten all about you, BOOM – you get that message from him.  There it is in all its glory.  That one-worded text message that has a way of making you want to set your phone on fire with a flame thrower ... the dreaded: HI!  It doesn’t matter how many times you tell them to leave you alone – they won’t even get mad or offended - in fact, they’ll ACTUALLY give you your space, but

eventually, they always come back – like a fucking boomerang.

Meeting all kinds of (crazy) people when you are single is just part of the dating ride.  Most of the time, you exchange numbers with someone and nothing comes from it.  Sometimes, we get a good friend out of it, but very seldom do we get a Lingerer.  My Lingerer is kind of special and not in that romantic kind of way, more like in that crazy asshole kind of way.  We hung out and it just didn’t work out (perhaps because he had a girlfriend that he forgot to tell me about, who he was fighting with at the time ... Asshole).   But besides that little indiscretion, there was nothing more to it … or so I thought (please refer to pictures 1 through 4 ... crazy).

Although the conversations between "Too-Tall P" and myself are quite short (to say the least) and it is obvious that nothing beautiful will ever blossom between us, I can actually say that I have learned some things
from my Lingerer.  I have compiled a list below ... You're welcome.

The 5 Things I've Learned From My Lingerer:
1. He's a fucking psycho
2. He apparently likes pinups and likes to fuck hard and fuck fast ... triple threat!
3. He has an abnormally huge penis (image has been shielded from readers eyes - sorry y'all)
4. I don't like surprise penis pics.  Unless I personally request a photo, please keep that shit to yourself!!!
5. Never, ever, EVER send inappropriate texts to someone, unless you are in a committed relationship with them (i.e. long term boyfriend and/or husband), because you never know what the other person will do with those texts, i.e. BLOG ...I can't stress this enough - JUST DON'T DO IT PEOPLE!!!

I can't stand m Lingerer anymore; he is fucking annoying (but unintentionally funny).  No matter how much I ignore him (as you can see), I can't get rid of him and I REFUSE to change my number!!! Although I may have lost this battle y'all, I WILL NOT LOSE THE WAR!!!

The struggle continues ...